Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Shawanda not looking happy about the kids bouncing on the Swing-a-long Bridge. She's also pregnant so I don't think her back was liking the up & down, down & up climbing we were doing.
the stone bridge which was up aways from the swing-a-long bridge, this was the way Shawanda elected to take :) as you can see she is not comfortable with heights and no guard rails :)
Ruby Falls, this was our first stop on our 2 day, 750mile bus tour with a group from Walls Elementary School. We left at 5:00am on Thursday morning and got back home at 10:00pm Friday night. It's a reward field trip for students that get straight A's.
Ruby Falls Cave, It's a waterfall 260 feet below the surface of the earth in a Solid Limestone Cave.
Inside the Southern Belle, ours was a luncheon cruise so we were served drinks, cold cuts, and of course Moon Pies. Chattanooga is famous for Moon Pies..
Southern Belle Riverboat tours. The captain said the ' Belle would do anything for money as long as it was legal....
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Pic from the BBC today
The Saviour of Spilled Blood Cathedral is silhouetted in front of a radiant full moon in St Petersburg, Russia.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Australian boys' highway escapade
Two Australian brothers aged 10 and six drove 100km (62 miles) along a busy New South Wales highway in a bid to make a surprise visit to their grandfather.
Startled motorists called the police after seeing the boys alone in the car.
They had travelled over two-thirds of the way towards their destination, near Moree, when police pulled them over.
"They appeared to be driving normally, certainly better than probably some other people on that road," Sgt Matt Clifford of the Moree police said.
The two boys took their grandmother's car and set off up the Newell Highway, the Sydney Morning Herald reported.
When police stopped them, the two boys did not seem to think they had done anything wrong. "They weren't upset or crying or anything like that," Sgt Clifford said.
He said he was amazed that the older brother managed to see over the dashboard of the car, an automatic station wagon.
"He wasn't an overly tall kid," he said.
Police gave the 10 year-old a warning, but further punishment was left to the family.
"I'm sure granddad and grandma, if not mum and dad, might have their own little chastisement for them," Sgt Clifford told the newspaper.
For reference I posted the pick of Cameron & Liam at ages 5 & 10....The first thing I thought while I was reading this article is that my kids would do this and the officer would have the same impression of them lol.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Patriot Guard Riders
Patriot Guard Riders Mission Statement
The Patriot Guard Riders is a diverse amalgamation of riders from across the nation. We have one thing in common besides motorcycles. We have an unwavering respect for those who risk their very lives for America’s freedom and security. If you share this respect, please join us.
We don’t care what you ride, what your political views are, or whether you’re a "hawk" or a "dove". It is not a requirement that you be a veteran. It doesn't matter where you’re from or what your income is. You don’t even have to ride. The only prerequisite is Respect.
Our main mission is to attend the funeral services of fallen American heroes as invited guests of the family. Each mission we undertake has two basic objectives.
1. Show our sincere respect for our fallen heroes, their families, and their communities.
2. Shield the mourning family and friends from interruptions created by any protestor or group of protestors.
We accomplish the latter through strictly legal and non-violent means.
I joined up and these people are some of the nicest, coolest people I have ever met! The love & respect for life that they all carry is shown in everything they do. They do a lot more than riding to funerals too.
PS. You don't have to be a rider to join them. Any and all forms of support are accepted graciously.
OM MANI PADME HUM
got that? ok good! Now just repeat it over and over...... it's easy. Om Mani Padme Hum.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
I agree...
Occasionally I make the random Albert Einstein posting. I haven't made one for awhile so here it is. :)
I have several hundred quotes from Albert Einstein that I’ve collected, here are a few of my favorites:
Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius-and a lot of courage-to move in the opposite direction.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
Everything should be as simple as it is, but not simpler.
Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted.
Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.
God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean.
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.
How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who are wise and of goodwill! In such a place even I would be an ardent patriot.
I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist. I am willing to fight for peace. Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war.
I do not know with what weapons World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones.
I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep, one must above all be a sheep oneself.
It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man.
It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.
It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid.
Joy in looking and comprehending is nature's most beautiful gift.
Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.
Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.
Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.
Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.
That deep emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.
The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness.
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people.
You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.
The last line of the Tiny Tiger oath is ... "and to make good friends"... then they all shake hands. So cute! :)
I've said it before but I'm saying it again... I want to move to Bhutan!
The remote Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan is the only country in the world which puts happiness at the heart of government policy.
The government must consider every policy for its impact not only on Gross Domestic Product, but also on GNH: "Gross National Happiness".
The politics of happiness has led Bhutan to make very different decisions from countries simply searching for wealth
Bhutan was the last nation in the world to introduce television in 1999. Recently they banned a number of channels including international wrestling and MTV, which they felt did little to promote happiness.
Bhutan has even banned plastic bags and tobacco on the grounds that they make the country less happy
The one set of traffic lights Bhutan ever had was on this junction. But people found them frustrating, so they went back to a human being.
Buddhist prayer flags flutter in the wind. In Bhutan the government puts inner spiritual development on a par with material improvement.
One of the pillars of Bhutan's happiness philosophy is care for the environment. Strict conservation laws are aimed at achieving sustainable development.
Development has been moderated and people are less well off financially than they could have been, but this is to ensure happiness.
~Veritas~
If you can't find the Truth Right where you are.
Where do you expect to find it?
~Dogen Zenji
Where do you expect to find it?
~Dogen Zenji
Honesty Test (60questions)
The Honesty Test: Results
Over the past several years, honesty and integrity testing in the workplace has been becoming more and more prevalent. There are several reasons for this increase. First, organizations that had in the past utilized polygraph testing for their employees were forced to stop due to new legislation. This created a void in this type of testing - something that these companies regret because they knew that testing for honesty has great benefits, both in the quality of personnel hired and in the reduction of theft and other counterproductive behavior. Secondly, companies are realizing that the high cost of turnover even in entry-level jobs merits more careful selection procedures. And finally, evidence suggests that organizations and companies have reason to fear that their employees may in fact steal from them. Studies show that honesty testing works - in companies where testing has been implemented, theft and other forms of dishonest behaviors have decreased dramatically.
Your score = 82
Honesty Test Score = 82 on a scale of 1-100
What does your score mean?
You scored very high on this test, indicating that your susceptibility for dishonest behavior is minimal. You are someone who isn't swayed from acting honestly even in situations where many "normal" people would feel temptation to act deceitfully.
Over the past several years, honesty and integrity testing in the workplace has been becoming more and more prevalent. There are several reasons for this increase. First, organizations that had in the past utilized polygraph testing for their employees were forced to stop due to new legislation. This created a void in this type of testing - something that these companies regret because they knew that testing for honesty has great benefits, both in the quality of personnel hired and in the reduction of theft and other counterproductive behavior. Secondly, companies are realizing that the high cost of turnover even in entry-level jobs merits more careful selection procedures. And finally, evidence suggests that organizations and companies have reason to fear that their employees may in fact steal from them. Studies show that honesty testing works - in companies where testing has been implemented, theft and other forms of dishonest behaviors have decreased dramatically.
Your score = 82
Honesty Test Score = 82 on a scale of 1-100
What does your score mean?
You scored very high on this test, indicating that your susceptibility for dishonest behavior is minimal. You are someone who isn't swayed from acting honestly even in situations where many "normal" people would feel temptation to act deceitfully.
Friday, June 09, 2006
And I thought my boys were too busy ...
Japan's after-school pressures
Time to reflect, if you are lucky
The pressures and costs of after-school activities for children in Japan are causing concern, and are even suspected of contributing to the country's declining birth rate, as parents shun the idea of having more than one child.
Here, one Tokyo woman - journalist Kumiko Makihara - outlines the pressures on her young son, Yataro.
On Thursday I meet my son at the bus stop, and rush him home so that he can get ready for football practice.
We grab his sports bag, and I put a bit of chocolate in his mouth as we head off on the 15-minute bike ride. I have to tell him off for riding zigzag, as it takes more time.
Then he attends abacus class, for an hour of addition and subtraction drills, before his homework and piano practice.
On Fridays it is swimming and abacus; on Saturdays, English and judo.
I marvel at Yataro's energy level - but I also worry that I'm running him into the ground
These days I feel I'm back at my former job, running the mad schedule of the president of a large resort - only now, I'm keeping track of my son's after-school activities.
(click the headline for the rest of the article...)
Haha this is from my friend Twitch, just to offset the Northwest one from yesterday...
Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau to ALL visiting Northerners, Northeasterners, Northwesterners, Westerners and Southwestern Urbanites
1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass
2) Don't laugh at our Southern names (Madie Laverne, Luther, Tammy Lynn, Inez, Billy Joe, Steve Anne, Sissy, Clovis, etc.) or we will just HAVE to kick your ass
3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying rat's ass whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever... it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.
4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g. Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies or we'll kick your ass.
5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Sam Walton, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do, sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g. John Edwards, Al Gore, Bill Clinton, David Duke). We don't care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would kick his/her ass.
6) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.
7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick your ass.
8) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you're a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended with gravy. And don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your ass.
9) Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your ass kicked.
10) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern hellholes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.
11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your ass.
12) Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick your ass all the way back to Boston Harbor.
13) Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma'am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.
14) So you think we're quaint, or losers, because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime infested cesspools like New York, Baltimore or Boston. Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your ass.
15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our barbecue, and you will go home in a pine box... minus your ass
| You Are 16% Cynical |
 Cynical? Not even close! If anything, you're a bit naive. Overall, you enjoy life and try not to be paranoid. Even if you've been burned before. |
| Your Theme Song is Beautiful Day by U2 |
 "Sky falls, you feel like It's a beautiful day Don't let it get away" You see the beauty in life, especially in ordinary everyday moments. And if you're feeling down, even that seems a little beautiful too. |
| You Are Fish |
 You have a well formed palate and a daring appetite. If it's served to you, you'll at least try it. People are pretty scared of your exotic ways. But once they get a taste of you, they're addicted! |
Fish? haha
Thursday, June 08, 2006
I am tired of war
not in the getting sleepy sort of way, but all the way through my spirit down deep into the center of my soul. I'm tired of violence. I'm tired of people dying for no reason. I'm tired of people killing for no reason.
This makes me very Homesick.
The Northwest According to Jeff Foxworthy
1. You know the state flower (Mildew).
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.
8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, Millstone and Veneto's.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye Salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Snoqualmie, Yakima, and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-while only working eight-hour days
15. Rain doesn't alter your plans
16. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho
17. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
18. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
19. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
20. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
21. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
22. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
23. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
24. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
25. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
26. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.
27. You measure distance in hours.
28. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
29. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them.
note* I found most of my sunglasses when I moved this last time. Haha I have about 20 pairs and some of them I swear have never been worn.
Random thought of the day
A snippet of Sherlock Holmes that I've always admired:
It is my belief, Watson, founded upon my experience, that the lowest and vilest alleys in London do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside. . . .The reason is obvious. The pressure of public opinion can do in the town what the law cannot accomplish. There is no lane so vile that the scream of a tortured child, or the thud of a drunkard's blow, does not beget sympathy and indignation among the neighbors, and then the whole machinery of justice is ever so close that a word of complaint can set it going, and there is but a step between the crime and the dock. But look at these lonely houses, each in its own fields, filled for the most part with poor ignorant folk who know little of the law. Think of the deeds of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser.
It is my belief, Watson, founded upon my experience, that the lowest and vilest alleys in London do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside. . . .The reason is obvious. The pressure of public opinion can do in the town what the law cannot accomplish. There is no lane so vile that the scream of a tortured child, or the thud of a drunkard's blow, does not beget sympathy and indignation among the neighbors, and then the whole machinery of justice is ever so close that a word of complaint can set it going, and there is but a step between the crime and the dock. But look at these lonely houses, each in its own fields, filled for the most part with poor ignorant folk who know little of the law. Think of the deeds of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Monday, June 05, 2006
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Saturday, June 03, 2006
How many murders go unsolved each year in the United States?
DNA. Carpet fibers. Fingerprints. Given the wealth of forensic information, you'd think police would solve each and every murder. Unfortunately, you'd be wrong. According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, in 2004, 62.6% of homicides were "cleared," leaving a substantial portion of murder cases unresolved.
The FBI's official site says a crime is cleared when either an arrest is made or "elements beyond the control of law enforcement prevent the agency from arresting and formally charging the offender, by exceptional means." We assume this refers to rare cases when, for example, suspects die before they can be charged.
In 2004, there were 16,137 cases of murder or nonnegligent manslaughter in the United States. Because 37.4% of these cases went uncleared, around 6,035 people "got away with murder" that year. Of course, this assumes each offender murdered only one person, which very likely isn't true, but seeing as the cases are unsolved, this is our best guess. Anyway, while that number is disturbingly high, there is some good news. From 2003 to 2004, the number of murders fell 2.4% and violent crime in general is on a downswing.
So there you have it folks.... Somehow the 2.4% decrease doesn't seem that big, but I suppose it's better than a 2.4% increase.
The FBI's official site says a crime is cleared when either an arrest is made or "elements beyond the control of law enforcement prevent the agency from arresting and formally charging the offender, by exceptional means." We assume this refers to rare cases when, for example, suspects die before they can be charged.
In 2004, there were 16,137 cases of murder or nonnegligent manslaughter in the United States. Because 37.4% of these cases went uncleared, around 6,035 people "got away with murder" that year. Of course, this assumes each offender murdered only one person, which very likely isn't true, but seeing as the cases are unsolved, this is our best guess. Anyway, while that number is disturbingly high, there is some good news. From 2003 to 2004, the number of murders fell 2.4% and violent crime in general is on a downswing.
So there you have it folks.... Somehow the 2.4% decrease doesn't seem that big, but I suppose it's better than a 2.4% increase.
Friday, June 02, 2006
The Drake Equation
The Drake equation (also known as the Green Bank equation or the Sagan equation) is a famous result in the speculative fields of xenobiology, astrosociobiology and the search for extraterrestrial intelligence.
This equation was devised by Dr. Frank Drake (a professor at the University of California, Santa Cruz) in the 1960s in an attempt to estimate the number of extraterrestrial civilizations in our galaxy with which we might come in contact. The main purpose of the equation is to allow scientists to quantify the uncertainty of the factors which determine the number of extraterrestrial civilizations. In recent years, the Rare Earth hypothesis, which posits that conditions for intelligent life are quite rare in the universe has been seen as a possible refutation of the equation.
The Drake equation is closely related to the Fermi paradox. It was cited by Gene Roddenberry as supporting the multiplicity of starfaring civilizations shown in Star Trek, the television show he created.
The Drake equation states that:
N = R^{*} ~ \times ~ f_{p} ~ \times ~ n_{e} ~ \times ~ f_{l} ~ \times ~ f_{i} ~ \times ~ f_{c} ~ \times ~ L
where:
N is the number of civilizations in our galaxy with which we might expect to be able to communicate at any given time
and
R* is the rate of star formation in our galaxy
fp is the fraction of those stars which have planets
ne is average number of planets which can potentially support life per star that has planets
fl is the fraction of the above which actually go on to develop life
fi is the fraction of the above which actually go on to develop intelligent life
fc is the fraction of the above which are willing and able to communicate
L is the expected lifetime of such a civilization
How Stuff Works
This site is pretty amazing. If you have a question about almost anything chances are the answer can be found here.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Analogies found in High School Students' essays.
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances, Like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m., traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fence that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River .
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances, Like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m., traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fence that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River .
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
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