The Space Between

Sometimes things make sense, even when they don't.
Sometimes horrible things are wholly good in the end.
Sometimes positive things are truly evil in the end.
Sometimes there is NO line between good & evil, right & wrong.
Sometimes there is Nothing But the line.

Sometimes the words that match my soul scare the crap out of me.
Sometimes the words that match my soul are so beautiful they hurt.
Sometimes the words that match my soul are so ugly & horrifying that they are beautiful.
Sometimes the words that match my soul are not words that can be spoken, but they can be heard.
Sometimes I know that One Word is All there is.

Sometimes I want to live so bad I feel like dying.
Sometimes I want to die so bad I end up living.
Sometimes I pray for things just so that I won't get them.
Sometimes I wish for things just so that I might get them.
Sometimes I give up hope completely just so that I will get it all.

Sometimes when I say I love you, it means I hate your guts.
Sometimes when I say I love you, it means I hate MY guts.
Sometimes when I think I hate you, it means I love you more than life itself.
Sometimes when I think I hate me, it means I love you more than life itself.
Sometimes I can't tell the difference.

Sometimes I am afraid that my heart will never heal.
Sometimes I doubt that it was ever whole in the first place.
Sometimes I am terrified that it will mend and it won't change anything.
Sometimes I am terrified that this is all there is.
Sometimes I am terrified because I know there is more.

Sometimes I want to throw myself away.
Sometimes I am afraid for myself.
Sometimes I am afraid for everyone else.
Sometimes I want to save the world.
Sometimes I want to set it on fire and watch the motherfucker burn.

Sometimes I wonder how the tiny person that I am can possibly be the huge person that I also am.
Sometimes I forget all about the Big Me and revel in my smallness.
Sometimes life is a twisted sick perverted joke that makes me sick laughing.
Sometimes life is so beautiful and thrilling that breathing is orgasmic and I choke.
Sometimes I can't tell the difference.

Sometimes I get tired of balancing on the pinnacle and I let go.
Sometimes I fall. Sometimes I fly.
Sometimes they are the same damn thing.
Sometimes I think I'm flying and I am falling at light speed.
Sometimes I think I am falling and I bust through into a new universe so strong and alive that I wonder how I never saw my wings.

Sometimes forever seems so short and infinity seems so small.
Sometimes my tiny place and time in this world seem immeasurable.
Sometimes I am a paradoxically paradoxical paradigm adjustment technician specializing in Absurdity and Divine Irony.
Sometimes I am a meat popsicle.
Sometimes people get the 2 confused.

Sometimes I wonder how it is that even though I have died that I am still more alive than so many others.
Sometimes I forget on which side of the veil we are supposed to be.
Sometimes I remember how much more I could see when I was blind.
Sometimes literal truth is way more fantastical and figurative than any metaphorical story ever could be.
Sometimes people think I mean these things figuratively, they are wrong.

Sometimes I walk in the rain so that I can see the sunshine.
Sometimes I hide in the dark so that I can feel the light.
Sometimes I am alone and cold so I can feel the love in my soul and forget about my body.
Sometimes I am alone and cold so I can forget the love in my soul and only think about my body.
Sometimes being alone and cold has nothing to do with actually being alone and cold at all.

Sometimes I swear I will never be free.
Sometimes I vow to never be caged.
Sometimes I wonder why I've never truly felt lonely.
Sometimes I remember that it's because I've never truly been alone.
Sometimes I remember seeing the others like me, feeling their embrace, basking in silent love as their wings glide by.

Sometimes I look inside to see through the window in my forehead.
Sometimes I forget how to really see with my eyes.
Sometimes I laugh after this happens because I can hear others laughing with me, remembering that we are all connected anyway.
Sometimes I think that I am a figment of someone's imagination.
Sometimes I am afraid that I am a figment of my own.

Sometimes I feel that I am the sacrifice and a blessing, the curse and the cure.
Sometimes I remember that I am the lamb AND the lion and I laugh.
Sometimes I think it's sad that most people can't tell the difference.
Sometimes being sad is really just being mad.
Sometimes furious rage is tears that can't be shed, words that can't be said and love that isn't felt.
Or is it love that isn't heard?

Memphis Botanic Garden, Home of the Goldsmith Civic Garden Center

Do-It-Yourself Downsize: How To Build A Tiny House by Jon Kalish

Sculptures Made Out Of A Single Paper Sheet

From Artist: Peter Callesen "About my paper works: My paper works have been based around an exploration of the relationship between two and three dimensionality. I find this materialization of a flat piece of paper into a 3D form almost a magic process – or maybe one could call it obvious magic, because the process is obvious and the figures still stick to their origin, without the possibility of escaping. In that sense there is also an aspect of something tragic in most of the cuts. Some of the small paper cuts relate to a universe of fairy tales and romanticism, as for instance Impenetrable Castle inspired by Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale The Steadfast Tin Soldier, in which a tin soldier falls in love with a paper ballerina, living in a paper castle. Other paper cuts are small dramas in which small figures are lost within and threatened by the huge powerful nature. Others again are turning the inside out, or letting the front and the back of the paper meet – dealing with impossibility, illusions, and reflections."

;p

;p

P032509PS-0501

P032509PS-0501, originally uploaded by The Official White House Photostream.

How cool is this?! :)

P020209PS-0181

P020209PS-0181, originally uploaded by The Official White House Photostream.

Seriously awesome

P020209PS-0149

P020209PS-0149, originally uploaded by The Official White House Photostream.

Just a regular guy.
I <3 President Obama!

Camporee

STOP YELLING ACROSS THE HOUSE!!!

This St. Paddy's Day Skip A Round for Hopeline

Dear Hopeline Supporter,

Every 42 seconds, someone attempts suicide in the United States, Every 86 seconds, an individual calls the National Hopeline Network 1-800-SUICIDE.

Last year we experienced a 30% increase in calls due to the economic recession. This St. Paddy's Day if you plan to buy a round of drinks we ask you to skip one round of drinks to help us support the network and the people who are losing their jobs, homes and are desperate for support. $10 will help us connect 30 people to resources that will help them get housing, medical help, mental health and addictions services, food and other support. The Kristin Brooks Hope Center founded the National Hopeline Network, toll-free private confidential suicide prevention crisis lines. The National Hopeline Network is a private non-profit and receives no government support. We are available to the public 24/7 solely through the support of the general public - you

1-800-SUICIDE is listed in almost every phone directory in the US and receives up to 2,000 calls a day from individuals in crisis.

1-800-SUICIDA - One out of every seven Latina women will attempt suicide. The economic downturn has greatly increased the number of calls to 800-SUICIDA from citizens isolated from their families, unable to support their families, unable to find any one to help.

1-877-YOUTHLINE - Suicide is the second leading cause of death for youths 16-24. The Youthline connects callers to trained peer counselors who understand and have experienced physical and sexual abuse, self-injury, sexual identity issues, have been bullied, experienced a breakup, are victims of divorce, feel like they have already failed at their life.

1-800-PPD-MOMS - This crisis line connects women with other Mothers and women who have experienced post-partum depression. PPD indiscriminately affects all races, socio-economic levels. It impacts women with healthy babies in loving families, as well as single mothers on their own, it also can impact women who have terminated their pregnancies. Callers receive help and hope from trained women. No callers are judged, they are only offered support and referrals.

1-877-VET 2 VET - Currently, combined suicides in our armed forces is exceeding the number of monthly deaths of servicemen and women serving in Iraq. Vet 2 Vet connects members of the armed forces and their families to trained crisis line workers when peer support who understand the complications of post traumatic stress disorder, being physically injured, as well as being deployed for extended periods away from families and loved ones are not available.

With your help, when an individual calls one of the lines of the National Hopeline Network, it will be answered. $10 will connect 30 people to help and hope, please help us pay our phone bill.

Sincerely,

Reese Butler
Kristin Brooks Hope Center - 1250 24th Street NW, Suite 300 - Washington, DC 20037 - 202.536.3200 - www.hopeline.com

HOW YOU CAN HELP TODAY:

1. Donate $10 today (if everyone who received this email donates $10 today we can cover our costs for the next four months).

2. Commit to raise $90 from your own online community (like Facebook or MySpace) or in your own town, work place or clubs by the end of March (if each person does that - it will cover our costs for three years!)

3. Recommit yourself to the 99 CLUB or commit to support one 99 CLUB member to achieve their annual goal of $5,000. (That will allow us to keep working on our Internet crisis intervention site for one full year.) That includes the training and certification of over 1,000 new volunteers.

By the way, the PostSecret Community 99 Club member has almost reached the goal for this year! If you are a friend of Postsecret, help them reach their goal by clicking here.

Your ten dollars will make sure we can continue this work for four more months. If you can get nine of your friends on Facebook, MySpace or other social networking site to do the same we can do this for three years!

AC/DC Phone Pics

 

Doodling May Boost Memory

In a Boring Meeting? Doodling as You Listen May Help You Remember Important Info
By Miranda Hitti
WebMD Health News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Feb. 27, 2009 -- The next time you're stuck on hold or zoning out during a dull meeting, you might want to reach for a pen and doodle -- and not just to ease your boredom.

Doodling might help you remember snippets of key information that's mentioned in those conversations, a new study shows.

The study comes from Jackie Andrade, PhD, of the School of Psychology at England's University of Plymouth.

Andrade asked 40 adults who had just finished another psychology test to listen to a "rather dull" audio tape play for two and a half minutes and to jot down the names of people who would definitely or probably be coming to a party, according to the tape.

As they listened to the tape, half of the participants were encouraged to doodle on a piece of paper. They didn't have to draw freehand; instead, they were given a sheet of paper filled with outlines of squares and circles to shade in. For comparison, the other half of the group didn't doodle while listening to the tape.

A minute after the tape finished, participants took a pop quiz in which they had to recall the party-goers' names and places that were mentioned on the tape. They had not been told to listen for the places.

The doodlers recalled an average of "7.5 pieces of information (names and places), 29% more than the [average] of 5.8 recalled by the control group," Andrade writes.

Why was doodling helpful? Maybe it kept participants more alert while they listened to the boring recording, Andrade suggests.

"This study suggests that in everyday life doodling may be something we do because it helps to keep us on track with a boring task, rather than being an unnecessary distraction that we should try to resist doing," Andrade says in a news release.

The study appears online in Applied Cognitive Psychology.

20th Annual Beale St Zydeco Festival

20th Annual Beale St Zydeco Festival

Feb 28, 2009

Memphis, TN

Vote for Bobby Chaumont

The candidates for the CHL Performance of the Week for Week 18 (Feb. 26 - Feb. 22) are:

Bobby Chaumont (MIS) scoring two goals in a 36 second stretch of the first period of their 5-3 win vs. WIC, 2/20

Fans can vote for Bobby Chaumont now through March 2, at the CHL web site, www.centralhockeyleague.com. The winner will be announced on March 3

Jump!!!

Back in the 1929 Financial Crash it was said that some Wall Street Stockbrokers and Bankers JUMPED from their office windows and committed suicide when confronted with the news of their firms and clients financial ruin . . .

Many people were said to almost feel a little sorry for them . . . . . .



In 2008/2009 the attitude has changed somewhat!

Oldies but Goodies

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses..

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lie s At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers ..

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack , Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack ..

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

New Stock Market Terms

Got this from my Dad today:

New Stock Market Terms

CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer
BULL MARKET – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET – a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING – The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER – What my financial planner has made me.
STANDARD & POOR – Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
MARKET CORRECTION – The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS – What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR – Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT – an archaic word no longer in use.



# # # # #


If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago,
you will have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in AIG
one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Lehman Brothers
one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

But---- if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer

one year ago, drank all the beer,
then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund,

you will have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment planis to drink heavily & recycle.
It's called the 401-Keg.

Getting back to my Aspie roots! You (and your loved ones) Might be an Aspie If....

I was inspired to revisit some of the you-might-be-an-aspie-if sites by a conversation I had tonight. I am STILL amazed at how many of these I can apply to myself. haha!

Some of my favorites:

You might be an Aspie if:

You quit smoking, not because you're worried about lung cancer, but because you're tired of setting your hair on fire....

You can remember the exact date The Flintstones premiered (Oct. 1, 1960) and the name and production number of the first episode (P-1, "The Swimming Pool") but completely forgot about the now-congealed tuna casserole that's been sitting in your microwave for three days...

You get really ticked because you realize the first episode of "The Flintstones" to air on Oct. 1, 1960 was episode P-2, "The Flintstone Flyer" (it aired out of production order) but didn't catch the mistake until you sent off the e-mail, and now you're going to look like an idiot...

You can sing the Esperanto anthem--in Esperanto
("En la mondon venas nova sento,
Tra la mondon iras forta voco...")
but your own country's national anthem throws you...("Where was that part about the 'ramparts' again?")
You actually spent hours on the internet trying to find a MIDI of the Esperanto anthem...'cause obscure anthems are your "thing" this month...

You actually know what Esperanto *is.*

You wonder why in the world someone would design a flag and write an anthem for a nonexistant nation--as you're headed to Klingon language camp...

If it takes you 5 minutes to explain where the mayonnaise is in the refrigerator....

when someone says, "Now take a minute and picture -in your head- something or other", you wonder why it would be necessary to suggest it, because you always have pictures in your head....(OMG YES!)

- you never worry about an umbrella and point out to people that they aren`t going to fizz like alka-seltzer if they get wet.

- your hands are always covered in burns, cuts and scars, and the only ones you noticed getting are the really spectacular ones, but they never hurt anyway.

- people keep saying if they were you, they wouldn`t be telling anybody about the idiotic ways you got those burns, cuts and scars.

- at any one time you can count 200 scars on both hands.

*note* The scar thing is WAY too close to home!

if you are the only one behaving rationally in a real emergencey and everyone else is angry at you for trying to get them to get to safety...

The last time you moved house, you had 25 large boxes of books to every one smallish box of clothing.

It took you, your parents, a friend, and 4 movers 3 days to move all your stuff, and you were only moving out of a 2 bedroom apartment! (what can I say. Clutter is my life.)

You question whether you are really a Homo Sapiens Sapiens.. and not a seperate sub-spiecies like H. Sap. Sap. Varient Aspie.

You have ever seriously wondered if some ancestor of yours was in fact a space alien who 'jumped the fence'.

You've ever joked that in your last life, you lived on Alpha Centauri.

You refer to what is supposedly your own species as "Humans".. or worse, "Homo Sapiens Sapiens". Extra points for times you shake your head and mutter "Humans...." when you see some example of social behavior that you find unattractive, like bullying or extreme faddishness, or being boistrously over-social. Extra points if those times happen more than one time a day.


You hate having to talk on the phone and confine your conversational depth to 'Yup', 'Nope', and 'Bye'. 10 additional points if you answer the phone with either 'Me'. or 'What do you want?'

You go outside and are instantly mobbed by animals, because animals always love you. They sense something different about you and that makes them feel safe and happy.

You take apart computers or other electronics for fun. 10 additional points if you started doing this before you were five years old. (Remember the see'n'say picture viewers? Mine was dissassembled in about 2 minutes, I was 5!)

You own more than 3 different types of earplugs or sunglasses. (Haha!! I have over 20 pairs of sunglasses and at LEAST 6 types of earplugs!)


You play 'Name That Bruise!' in the bath, because you have no idea where you got them. (Haha or you actually take photographs of your inumerable bruises, make collages and send them to friends!)

You gave up on ever convincing people that you are not odd ages ago. You now just live your life and to hell with anyone who thinks it strange. (ayup!)


You introduce yourself to people you've already met over and over again because you are face-blind. (YES!)

You would rather have your liver pecked out by a giant crow than spend a day at the mall. (Hahahahaaha sooo true!)

If your classic book report assignment is rejected because the school board doesn't accept the works of Stan Lee (It is TOO classic!!!)

You reinforce the foundations and floors of your house to allow for the sheer tonnage of books you own and insist on keeping around for frequent re-readings, even though you remember everything in them.

You own more books than anyone in your city.

You spend over 30% of your income on either books or collectables related to an interest. 10 additional points if you're supporting more than one interest in this manner. (Doesn't EVeryone??!!!?)

you fiddle around with your computer, sell it, reinstall Windows, crash it, try different combinations of the above and occasionally give up on computers for life (for a couple of days) so often that you have to rebuild your meagre list of about 6 favourites once every couple of weeks. (hahahahaaha oh by the way don't trip over the computer parts and pieces in the middle of the BATHroom!~ Seriously, I have pictures....)

...you want to sky-dive or bungee jump, but you wouldn't do it if you had to drive through traffic to get there.

...if when you were a kid, and other kids wanted to play ball, you wanted to turn toy cars over and spin their wheels.

...on the one hand you think you are the most interesting person you know, but not too many other people are trying to get to know you.

...you have learned to say "why" in several different languages. (warum? pse? zasto? proc? hvorfor? waarom? bakit? pourquoi? mengapa? perché? por que? почему?)

...your boss says, "Do such and such", and you can't do it until you know "why", because you are not going to waste your time on doing something that doesn't make sense. (absodamnlutely!)

...if you refused to let your grown son get rid of his legos, because you wanted to have the option of playing with them yourself again. (legos, action figures, books, puzzles, trading cards....:)

...you get extremely disappointed in yourself if you don't know something when you need to know it because you really "SHOULD" know that. (All the damn time!)


you have to ransack your entire residence a couple of times a week trying to find something you often need, and even though you usually don't find what you're looking for you find half a dozen useful other things you thought you'd lost, often even something you actively need that day. (a couple times a day!)

...you get all cleaned up and dressed for a party and just before you walk out the door you remember you hate parties so you switch on the computer, put on a t-shirt and get settled in for the night. (haha! yep)

You like defraging your hard drive so you can watch little blue squares lining up for a couple of hours. (it's great fun!)

you go to the paper shop to buy a newspaper but you can't decide whether to get the Herald or the Telegraph, then you remember news is all lies and nonsense (not to mention a waste of trees!) so you go home again without a paper. (I did this exact thing last week!)

when someone recommends that you ask Jesus into you heart, you form a mental picture of him changing the wallpaper in your left atrium. (Usually I picture more of a soft-shoe shuffle through the entranceway...)

you firmly believe that amyotropic laterosclerosis should be named for Stephen Hawking instead of Lou Gehrig. (Firmly!)

you need a sedative when you go to an ice-cream parlour with more than two flavors. (I'm not quite that bad... but mainly that's because I don't like ice cream! :)

If you would rather eat broken glass than go to a sorority party (pretty much)

your significant other sleeps on the sofa because there's JUST too little room for the two of you and your stuffed animals (10 points more if said animals are ordered alphabetically by scientific name).(Hahaha um there are pictures of just such an occurance that 'may' have taken place in a habitation of mine...)

you've ever created your own Plexiglass lunchbox to help you remember at a glance whether you're going to the office or coming home. (I didn't do this, didn't even think of it, but damn that's a GOOD idea!)

you've ever told somebody, "I'M NOT IMMATURE--I'M NOT, I'M NOT, I'M NOT, I'M NOT, I'M NOT!!!!"

"Do you want fries with that" aggravates your PTSD. (hahaha omg /cringe.)

you find it easier to remember something reasonable like "acetylsalicylic acid" than some arcane, fancy-shmantz word like "aspirin". (I'd like to thank my dear old dad for passing along this trait! Cameron will have fond memories of his mom and grumpa discussing why the sodium laurel sulfate solution might have an adverse effect on the dermatological layer of his canine companion and that extreme care and vigilance should be used in it's application with some thought given to perhaps substituting a more canine compatible cleansing formulation.)

the word "Hallmark" makes you think "When you care enough to send the very best", and you can remember tons of those kinds of "ad" lines and you use them in everyday speech. (AND at the same time you are visualizing the 'pun' that is a Hallmark card with an actual Hallmark on it! hahahahah)

you are going to college and petrified by the question "what is your major" because you don't know if it should be, English, Russian, Art, Art History, Psychology or whatever your next interest will be, OR if you should pursue your own personalized major program in Eremitic Studies or Anti-Social Science. (absolutely terrified!)

.if the thought, "there has to be a pattern to this" is a major theme of your life. (MAJOR!!!)

you actually KNOW that an Aspergerian is not a vegetable you cover in Hollandaise sauce.

you can't stand kids but you spend inordinate amounts of time browsing through "Toys 'R' Us". (I actually like kids -mostly- but yeah an INORDINATE amount of time at "Toys 'R' Us")

you think that only a sadistic inhuman fiend from the deepest recesses of hell could have written/inspired pieces like "The Chipmonk Song". (Christmas, Christmas time is here--AAAAARRRGGGGHH!!) (EVERY year it's the same! I've made numerous posts about this topic in the past but seriously WTF?!!!)

you have dreams of communicating with extraterrestrials and nightmares about chatting with the next-door neighbour. (Haha!!!!! full on night-terrors!)

You have a stuffed animal collection and have to take one with you when you travel to keep you company. (well I gave up traveling with my teddy bear at a much younger age... 32!;)

You manage to make out a list of shopping items to buy, and you hate making lists. You feel all proud of yourself for your accomplishment until you realize once you're at the store that you left it on the kitchen counter. (I don't really hate making lists, it's just one of those things that takes a little extra effort and yeah I do this EVERY trip to the damn grocery store. I DO hate grocery stores...)

Someone asks you how you are and you give an honest answer about what a rotten day you had and go on for 5 minutes about it. Then they get insulted or bored and you get confused 'cause after all, they DID ask. (HAHA I dedicate this one to Susan, we have commiserated over and boglged about this on a few occasions!)

you follow rules to the letter - but only if they make sense to you. (Guilty as charged! Afterall an illogical rule cannot by definition actually apply to anything!)

you consider the pleasantries of others just a waste of time. (Pleasantries of others are one of my BIGGEST pet peeves... IS THERE A POINT TO YOUR MEANDERING RAMBLING REPETITIONS???!!!!! PUH_LEEEEZE ARRIVE AT IT IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER!)

you understand a certain figure of speech because it was explained to you, but you still wonder what idiot could come up with something like that.(one of my hobbies, trying to figure out where a figure of speech came about and what sort of idiot came up with it in the first place)

you go to buy butter and come back with 12 different items, none of which is butter.(Yet another reason to avoid the grocery store at all costs!)

you talk your body into functioning when it refuses to be healthy enough to do certain things - and it often works. (This IS how I get through most days)

you collect stuffed felines and have more than 300 and know the names of all of them (and their personalities) but you still mix up your relatives. (*blush* I don't have 300...)

someone did some work for you trying to help you and thus ruined your whole day and the last few months of work because you absolutely NEEDED to finish it yourself.(Recently I asked a friend to tell me that they would do some work for me, because I knew as soon as I heard those words I would be totally motiveated to DO IT MYSELF and get it done as soon as possible to avoid ANY chance of anyone else actually doing it)

if you spend hours trying to figure out how someone could find a meaning in your words that was not there. (Hours, Days, WEEKS!!! It is one of the banes of my existence. AND there MUST be a solution IF I could only find the freaking reason it happens ALL the freaking time! hehe yeah just a little bitter about this one...)

your aunt had an accident while she was out with the dog, and you ask if the dog is alright. (I dedicate this one to my son, Liam!)


someone wants to get past you and says "excuse me" and you reply "sure" without moving a bit. (I dedicate this one to my brother, and BOTH of my sons! LOL)

you forget to eat or drink for a few days because you are working on an interesting project.

you insist on your view on fairness even when anyone else thinks you have gone mad. (and this one is dedicated to my son, Cameron. Poor baby just cannot get over the fact that life isn't fair, even though it really, really should be!)

you pass by a playground and see a nonverbal child you know playing with sand and water. You join in and have absolutely no problems with spending hours there, not speaking a word, and the two of you not even looking at each other.

...instead you have a very vocal and animated talk with the tomcat from downstairs - all in cat-language, of course. (haha VERY vivid flashbacks of doing this almost exactly)

the girl you've been trying to impress finally catches on and gets a new hairdo with the idea of impressing you back, and you walk right by her without recognizing, and she grabs you and provokes you to ask, "WHO are YOU? (This one goes out to you, Rob!)

you not only line things up, you always line them up in a symmetrical arrangement. (well if you are going to line them up, they may as well by symmetrical!)

you can't give up reading the newspaper, even though you'll never get through to to all the articles you want to read, and as a result, you're now out of living space because you can't bear to part with the back issues for fear of losing one deep in the pile where you know there's an important story you never gor around to reading (ten extra points if you know which pile said important story is in, and approximately how deep in that paper is).(I don't do this with newspapers, but holy hell you should see the files I've saved on my computer for further reading at some future point in time)

You know your aspie when you can smell the storm before it starts to rain, But you go and check the weather channel anyway just to be sure hehehe.(I DO THIS!)

only hours after a biology final you spend $6 on a magazine devoted to brain science, especially because it has an article on savants (including Kim Peek and autistic artist Richard Wawro) and you look forward to the deep relaxation you will feel while propped up in bed reading it. (I seriously had to read this one 3 times to see why this one might be considered Aspie, because, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable, acceptable, fun thing to do to me!)

you feel somehow privileged to have insights into the subject of cultural anthropology because you have been studying anthropo's your whole life trying to figure out what makes their culture tick.
(it's Temple Grandin who compared herself an "anthropologist on Mars") (YES, YES, YES!!!)

...you are extremely grateful for online tax preparation because: a)no one has to try to decipher your handwriting,
b)you don't have to see or talk to anyone to file your taxes, not even the people at the post office. (You have NO idea!- it's also one of the greatest things about online shopping- If I am out and the kids want pizza, I will DRIVE HOME to order it online and then have it delivered to my house)

your teacher commands every one in the room to pair-off to discuss a topic and you are extremely relieved that no one wants to be your partner. (Dreaded this! Almost as much as "Ok class, now we are going to share about ourselves...")

...you always liked the phrase "deja vu" and have experienced it, of course, but you were really happy when you learned about, "jamais vu", because it's always nice to know that the psychologists have picked pretty sounding French words to describe your problems.

After thinking about "jamais vu", you think about, "rien vu", and wonder if you just invented a new phrase.....

Je jamais vu rien, je deja vu rien jamais.

And you think that "jamais vu" might be what happens when you see your neighbor outside in his or her pajamas. And then you think, "wow, I sure am funny." I am. Funny. :-) (hahahaha all the time!)

you don't think an aspie board would be very authentic without some argumentative pontificating, I defend argumentative pontificating because I myself am prone to such. Although, I am only trying to be factual and helpful. (and this one goes out to Cory! :)


...if you cook home cooked dog food for your dog, which recipe is based on the latest in dog nutrition, but you frequently have coffee and pie for breakfast and go days without eating a proper meal with vegetables.(/nod)

You think the sound of competetetetetivenessnessness, is more satisfying than the regular way of saying it. (well it is!)

You get irritated when people come up to talk to you when you are doing something important like; staring at a wall, trying to find a space in your mind that is not overwhelmed by noise and imposing people with their desire to converse.

Never mind when people come by unannounced when you are totally getting into some research topic or painting or doing mosaics or whatever.....Hi! How nice to see you! Now go home! I'm busy!!! (Sorry!)


one of your favorite hobbies is "autie spotting". (I share this pastime with friends it's so fun!)

---another one is dog watching...not unlike bird watching...you keep track of all the breeds you have seen in real life, like: "Guess what? I saw a Keeshond today!!" (this is genetic ;) - 2 days ago when Liam and I were waiting in the Vet's office for Charlie, we spent the WHOLE time studying the large poster of 'Dog Breeds of the World' and discussing all of the different dogs we'd seen and the ones we really wanted to see..)

.if you think an old fashioned egg beater is a very cool toy. (it is TOTALLY a very cool toy. I have 2... an extra just in case one breaks, I've never beaten an egg with either one of them)

if you are a 43 year old woman and you just can't make hair-spray work for you. (well i'm 'only' 41...)

if you think cataclysm is a really great word. Catamaran, catatonic, catalyst, Catalan, catalogue, catastrophe all great words, and they start with CAT, which is neat, too. Patagonia is a neat word, too. And sassafras. (don't forget "catch phrase' I wonder what that means exactly? does it have the same root as catalogue? how do you catch a phrase exactly and what is a frasier? is it at all like a brasier? and how on earth is it different than a brassier? and what stupid idiot invented those things anyway, I notice he didn't invent an ballsier! But, ballsier would just lend size to testicles it wouldn't actually restrain them ....)

if you talk back to the people on the TV and radio and call them idiots or say sarcastic things to commercials. (one of the many reasons why I should never watch TV especially in the company of people that are not familiar with my little 'quirks'.)

you knew years ahead of time that you weren't going to the senior prom.

...by the time the prom came, they couldn't have paid you a million dollars to go to the prom. (Ok just LAST week at a family discussion, my sister says to her husband "Courtney never had teenage bad skin like you at all, she always had clear skin as a teenage" and my Dad pipes in "But she never had to worry about going to things like the Junior and Senior Prom either" I am NOT kidding this was last week! - and no I did not read this list until tonight!)

if you thought when you were 8 years old that you had no chance at being Miss America because you had so many scars on your knees and legs. (I'm thinking this is a girl thing...) (Haha I am one walking scar, I thought the last dermatologist was going to have a conniption fit about the state of my skin)

.if you have ever looked at your feet and thought that they looked like they were about 25 feet away from your head. (sometimes they are just closer than others.....)

So those were some of my favorites. Here are some other cool articles (Especially if you happen to be an Aspie :)

How to Live With Asperger's Syndrome and Develop Social Skills


How to Avoid Common Hygiene Mistakes

And my Favorite Asperger's: My life as an Earthbound alien

The picture is from this very sweet site Teaching Jeremiah, A Journey into the Mind of an Asperger's Child

How to Relate to Someone who Has Asperger's Syndrome

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

You might know someone with Asperger's syndrome, and you might not even know that they have it. This should help you relate to them, and show you some ways to get them to leave their shell and interact.

Steps

1. Read articles and books about Asperger's Syndrome, preferably those written by people with the condition.
   
2. Find someone who displays characteristics of Asperger's. You can't exactly do any of the other steps if you don't.
   
3. Approach them slowly, and casually. If you see them in one spot every day, say around noon, start bringing your lunch to that spot, and sit next to them. Don't talk to them the first time, let them get used to your presence first.
   
4. Start a small conversation. People with Asperger's are not very good at conversations, so you will probably need to lead them. You know, start by introducing yourself, and asking their name, then ask them about themselves. For now you just want to get them talking, what about isn't really important yet.
   
5. Try to find some common ground, some activity that both of you enjoy. Agree to get together some time and do it. Show up for the get-together on time.
   
6. Lay your emotions bare to them. Tell them how you feel, even when you think it's patently obvious, and ask them to do the same. They'll love you for it.
   
7. If they are acting strangely, tell them (if it dangers them or others). It's important to let them know. Don't say it meanly either, just say: "Most people don't do that"; or, "That's usually considered inappropriate"; or just "Please don't do that". If it's no harm to anyone, then leave them alone. It could be a comfort to them.
   
8. Introduce them to your other friends, and try to keep everyone getting along. They may act differently in the presence of your friends, or their friends. They may simply not get along. Don't try to force them to get along with your friends... They will probably be most outgoing when encountered one on one.
   

Tips

• Never lie to someone with Asperger's. People with Asperger's, especially those that have been bullied as children, often have trust issues and even if they only catch you lying once, may never trust you again.
  
• People with Asperger's tend to be considered "smart". It might be a good idea to ask them to help you with your homework in exchange for your helping them meet people. This will allow you two to relate more.
  
• Don't coddle them, but try to protect them from bullies and authority figures, at least a little.
  
• They will probably seem distant most of the time. If that (or something else) hurts your feelings, explain as well as you can what hurt your feelings and why, and work out an agreement that both of you can live with.
  
• They may be a bit obsessive. Try to put up with it. Rearranging stuff in their houses/room is generally a bad idea.
  
• Oftentimes they will make no motions to keep the relationship (be it friendship, or something more) going. They won't call, and you might not see them for days anywhere but where you are used to seeing them. That doesn't mean they don't care. Try to encourage them to take some of the initiative, and call them often, if you can.
  
• If you are in love with them, and you have confirmed that the same is true in reverse. (This is very hard; the best way is just to ask... And be prepared for a misleading response. For example, when they say "Yeah I love you", they might mean like a brother or sister, and not love love. Or they might say "No, I don't", which could mean that they don't family love you, but may friendly love you, or romantically love you, or at least lust after you, and don't think lust really counts. They will probably also be shy). Anyway, if you are in love with them, and have confirmed that they are also in love with you, then you should be very, very, careful. Get to know all their habits, decide if you can live with them, but be prepared for them to completely change after the revelation. (Nervousness, different habits, etc.) If they trust you, you can probably get them to change back to their old lovable selves, but that can be hard. Also be careful. People with AS can burn you, even if they don't intend to. They don't show their feelings well, and you might not understand as well as you thought you did.
  
• Never talk down to someone with Asperger's Syndrome, or talk to them like you would to a child. It is annoying and insulting to the person with AS.
  

Warnings

• Do not encourage someone with Asperger's to behave in an inappropriate manner. Doing so will likely cause them to behave in the inappropriate manner more often. Pretty soon they're doing it all the time. This is a bad thing.
  
• Subtle hints don't work, if you want to communicate then simply say it.
  
• People with Asperger's are very gentle people. But when they get noticeably angry they usually mean it.
  
• Many people with Aspergers are very nice people. However, they're only human. Like with any other human being, your personalities may 'clash'.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Live with Asperger's Syndrome
  

Sources and Citations

• Wikipedia on Asperger Syndrome
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Relate to Someone who Has Asperger's Syndrome. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.