Yes this is another push for people to watch this movie! I just can't seem to get anyone to watch any good movies with me... so I'm going to keep pluggin' away at it...
Seriously this movie has some of the best scenes EVER and some of the coolest dialogue to boot :)
Memorable Quotes from
The Boondock Saints (1999)
Quotes:
[first lines]
Mackiepenny: Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, now and forever. Amen.
Connor: [picking out weapons and gear] Do ya know what we need, man? Some rope.
Murphy: Absolutely. What are you, insane?
Connor: No I ain't. Charlie Bronson's always got rope.
Murphy: What?
Connor: Yeah. He's got a lot of rope strapped around him in the movies, and they always end up using it.
Murphy: You've lost it, haven't ya?
Connor: No, I'm serious.
Murphy: That's stupid. Name one thing you'd need a rope for.
Connor: You don't fuckin' know what you're gonna need it for. They just always need it.
Murphy: What's this 'they' shit? This isn't a movie.
Connor: Oh, right.
[picks up large knife out of Murphy's bag]
Connor: Is that right, Rambo?
Murphy: All right. Get your stupid fuckin' rope.
Connor: I'll get my stupid rope. I'll get it. There's a rope right there.
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[the two brothers are in an airshaft and getting a bit uncomfortable]
Murphy: Where the fuck are you going?
Connor: Shhh. I fucking hear some shit out here.
Murphy: Ahh, fuck you! I'm sweatin' my ass off carrying your fuckin' rope around. Must weigh thirty pounds...
Connor: Shhh. We are doing some serious shit here, now get a fucking hold of yourself!
Murphy: Oh, *fuck you*! I'm not the rope-totin' Charlie Bronson wannabe that's getting us fucking lost!
Connor: Would you fucking shut it?
[taps him on the head with his flash light, and both brothers start fighting in the air vent until it gives way]
Connor: Jesus fucking Christ!
Murphy: Oh, shit!
[the vents give way]
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Monsignor: And I am reminded, on this holy day, of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, a long time ago, almost thirty years ago, this poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered her calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.
Connor: [as the brothers exit the church] I do believe the monsignor's finally got the point.
Murphy: Aye.
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Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh... sh... sh... ships.
Rocco: I got to buy you a proverb book or something, because this mix 'n' match shit's got to go.
Doc: What?
Connor: Well, a penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn't it?
Murphy: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.
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[a Russian gangster comes into the bar]
Murphy: So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team.
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Paul Smecker: [Agent Smecker walks up to the first crime scene, where Chekov and his partner lay dead] Brilliant. So now we got a huge guy theory, and a serial crusher theory. Top notch. What's your name?
Detective Greenly: Detective Greenly. Who the fuck are you?
Paul Smecker: [opens his coat and shows his FBI credentials] That's who the fuck I am.
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[after Smecker proves the Boston detectives wrong]
Paul Smecker: We'll start the ass-kissing with you.
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Paul Smecker: [Enters the police station, packed with cops] First of all, I'd like to thank whichever one of you donut-munching, barrel-assed, pud-pulling sissies leaked this to the press. That's all we need now: some sensational story in the papers making these guys out to be superheroes, triumphing over evil. Let me squash the rumors right now: These two are not heroes. They're just two ordinary men who were put in an extraordinary situation and just happened to come out on top. Yes, nothing from our far-reaching computer system has turned up diddly on these two. All we know is what we found out from the neighbors, and the general consensus is, they're angels. But angels don't kill. And we have two bodies in the morgue that look like they've been "serial-crushed by some huge friggin' guy".
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Il Duce: And whosoever shed man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed, for in the image of God made He man.
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Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.
Connor: Each day we will spill their blood, 'til it rains down from the skies.
Murphy: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
Connor: These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, in to true corruption, into our domain.
Connor: For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day you will reap it.
Murphy: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.
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Yakavetta: I'm having a shitty day. I'm depressed. Tell me a funny joke.
Rocco: Uh, OK. There's these three guys walking on the beach, a spic, a white guy, and a black guy.
Yakavetta: Nigger.
Rocco: Yeah, right. So they find this pot, rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says, "You can wish for whatever you want." So he asks the Mexican what he wants, and he says "I want all my people in America to be happy and free, and in Mexico." So the genie goes poof. It's done. Then he says to the black guy...
Vincenzo Lipazzi: Nigger.
Rocco: Yeah, right, he says to the nigger "What do you want?" and the nigger says, "I want all my nigger brothers to be back in Africa, and happy and free and everything." So the genie goes poof. And they're all back in Africa. So... I'm not funny today, really, this joke sucks, I know...
Yakavetta: Continue the joke.
Rocco: Uh, so he says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy says, "Wait, you mean to tell me that all the spics and niggers are out of America?" The genie goes yeah, and the white guy says, uh, "I'll have a Coke, then."
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Paul Smecker: You know, you Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Kind of makes me feel like Riverdancing.
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[after dropping through the ceiling on a rope and killing nine mobsters]
Connor: Well, "Name one thing you're gonna need this stupid fucking rope for."
Murphy: That was way easier than I thought it would be.
Connor: Aye.
Murphy: On TV you always have that guy that jumps over the sofa...
Connor: And then you've got to shoot at him for ten fucking minutes.
Murphy: We're good.
Connor: Yes, we are.
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Rocco: They can suck my pathetic little dick, and I'll dip my nuts in marinara sauce just so those fat bastards can get a taste of home while they're at it.
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Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie bitch.
Donna: What? Why?
Rocco: I thought it would bring closure to our relationship.
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[after Rocco shoots three men in a coffee shop]
Murphy: Kind of liberating, isn't it?
Rocco: You know, it is a bit.
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Connor: We haven't really got a system of deciding who, Roc. It's just...
Rocco: Me! *Me*! I'm the guy! I know everyone! Their habits, who they hang out with, who they talk to! I've got phone numbers, addresses! I know who they're fucking! I know where they *live*! We could kill *everyone.*
Murphy: So what do you think?
Connor: I'm strangely comfortable with it.
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Paul Smecker: Oh, isn't that wonderful? All the lowlifes in quiet city Boston are dropping dead and *you* think it's unrelated! Greenly, the day I want the Boston Police to do my thinking for me, I will have a fucking tag on my toe!
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Yakavetta: He's happy now, just killing us one by one. And worse, he's good at it.
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[Yakavetta wants to call in Il Duce]
Augustus DiStephano: Your father and I used him three times in twenty years, only when things got totally fucked. Whenever we needed one of our own bumped off, we called this guy in. He had a thing for clipping wiseguys, but only one rule: No women, no kids. Believe me, kid, you don't want this guy unless you are one hundred percent sure you need him. He's a fucking monster.
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[the brothers discover a briefcase of money with the roomful of Russian mobsters they've just wiped out]
Connor: Fuck me!
Murphy: Whoa. The hits just keep on coming!
[whacks Connor in the face with a wad of cash]
Connor: Ow! Give it a smell!
Murphy: I love our new job.
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Rocco: [shouts] Fuck it! There's so much shit that pisses me off! You guys should recruit, because I'm sick and fucking tired of walking down the street, waiting for one of these crack-piping, ass-wiping, motherless lowlifes to get me!
Murphy: Hallelujah, Jaffar.
Rocco: Wait, so you're not just talking about mob guys, right? You're talking about pimps and drug dealers and all that shit, right?
Connor: Oh, yeah.
Rocco: Fuck. You guys could do this every goddamn day!
Murphy: We're sorta like 7-Eleven. We're not always doing business, but we're always open.
Connor: That is nicely put.
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[the McManus brothers are delivering the family prayer to Rocco, who has just been killed by Yakavetta]
Connor, Murphy: And shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand...
[they hear the click of guns behind them and they whip around with guns drawn to come face to face with Il Duce]
Il Duce: ...that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth unto Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be, In Nomine Patris, Et Fili, Et Spiritus Sancti.
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Rocco: I'll catch you on the flip side.
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Rocco: This guy takes out a whole family... wife, kids, everybody... like he's ordering fucking pizza.
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Paul Smecker: So you're telling me it was one guy with six guns, and he was a senior frigging citizen?
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Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain.
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Murphy: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
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Connor: How far are we going to take this, Da?
Il Duce: The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as is needed?
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Connor: It's the real deal, Roc. Evil men, dead men.
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[after Rocco fondles an unconscious stripper's breast]
Connor: What the fuck are you doing?
Rocco: ...I'll tip her.
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Murphy: We're sorta like 7-11. We're not always doin' business, but we're always open.
Connor: That was nicely put.
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Yakavetta: The 90's are killing me. I shouldn't have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're gonna kill him no more. I got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. Taking all the fun out of the job.
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Il Duce: Never shall innocent blood be shed, yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. The Three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of God.
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[after Rocco gets his finger shot off]
Rocco: Feels like it's still there.
Connor: Yeah, well it's not.
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[Connor and Murphy always pray over their victims]
Connor, Murphy: And shepherds we shall be, for thee my Lord for thee, Power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command, we shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In nomine patris, et filii...
[they cock their guns]
Connor, Murphy: ...et spiritus sancti.
[blam]
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Paul Smecker: Television. Television is the explanation for this - you see this in bad television. Little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling - that James Bond shit never happens in real life! Professionals don't do that!
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Doc: Why don't you make like a tree, and get the fuck outta here?
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Rocco: Shut your fat ass, Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without runnin' into nine guys you've fucked!
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Paul Smecker: So Duffy, have any theories to go with that tie?
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Connor: Jesus. He brought a six-shooter.
Murphy: There's nine bodies, genius.
Connor: What the fuck were you going to do, laugh the last three to death, Funny-Man?
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Rocco: Anybody *you* think is evil?
Connor: Aye.
Rocco: Don't you think that's a little weird, a little psycho?
Connor: You know what I think is psycho, Roc? It's decent men with loving families. They come home every day after work and they turn on the news. You know what they see? They see rapists, and murderers and child molesters. They're all getting out of prison.
Murphy: Mafiosos. Getting caught with twenty kilos. Getting out on bail the same fucking day.
Connor: And everywhere, everyone thinks the same thing: that someone should just go kill those motherfuckers.
Murphy: Kill 'em all. Admit it. Even you've thought about it.
Rocco: You guys should be in every major city. This is some heavy shit. This is, like, Lone Ranger heavy, man.
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Paul Smecker: They exited out the front door. They had no idea what they were in for. Now they're staring at six men with guns drawn. It was a fucking ambush.
[the McManus brothers and Rocco exit the house and come face to face with Il Duce, one man with six guns]
Paul Smecker: This was a fucking bomb dropping on Beaver Cleaverville. For a few seconds, this place was Armageddon!
[shouts]
Paul Smecker: There was a firefight!
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Rocco: Fucking... What the fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks...
[shouts]
Rocco: fuck!
Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.
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Connor: [during job training for Rosengurtie Baumgartener, an avid feminist] The rule of thumb here is...
Rosengurtie: Wait, rule of thumb? In the early 1900s it was legal for men to beat their wives, as long as they used a stick no wider than their thumb.
Connor: Well, can't do much damage with that then, can we? Perhaps it should have been a rule of wrist?
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The Priest: Would they ever harm an innocent person for any reason?
[of Rocco, who's holding him at gunpoint]
Paul Smecker: No, they would never do that.
Paul Smecker: Well, the two Irish guys wouldn't, the Italian guy, he might, he's kind of an idiot.
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Paul Smecker: Good shooting, shitty shooting.
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[while drunk in the confession booth]
Paul Smecker: I put evil men behind bars, but the law has miles of red tape and loopholes for these cocksuckers to slip through.
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[after Rocco enters the bar]
Rocco: Hey fuck-ass, gimme a beer.
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Paul Smecker: Just pour the drink, you fairy fuck.
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Paul Smecker: [after Smecker gets a phone call in bed with his gay lover and slaps him]
Paul Smecker: What are you doing?
Hojo: I just wanted to cuddle.
Paul Smecker: Cuddle? What a fag.
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Connor: Destroy all that which is evil.
Murphy: So that which is good may flourish.
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[after Rocco accidentally turns a cat into a splatter on the wall]
Murphy: I can't believe that just fucking happened!
Rocco: Is it dead?
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Detective Dolly: [sarcastically] So, what's the symbology of all this?
Paul Smecker: "Symbology"? Well, now that Duffy's relinquished his King Bonehead crown, I see we have a new heir to the throne. The word I believe you're looking for is "symbolism".
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[when his stuttering gets out of control]
Doc: [shouts] Fuck. Ass.
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Detective Greenly: These guys are miles away by now, but if you want to beat your head against a wall, then here's what you're looking for: they're scared, like two little bunny rabbits. Anything in a uniform or flashing blue lights is gonna spook 'em, OK? So the only thing we can do is put a potato on a string and drag it through South Boston, "Thanks for coming out!"
[Murphy and Connor walk into the station and Smecker sees them]
Murphy: You'd probably have better luck with a beer.
Connor: Aye, you would.
Detective Greenly: Fuck.
Paul Smecker: Hey, Greenly. Onion bagel, cream cheese.
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Paul Smecker: [walking through the hotel room] How many bodies, Greenly?
Detective Greenly: Eight.
[Smecker gives him a look]
Detective Greenly: Ah, shit! I forgot about that one! Nine! Nine?
Paul Smecker: While Greenly's out gettin' coffee, anybody else want anything?
Detective Greenly: Shit.
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[to dead body at investigation scene]
Detective Greenly: Where you goin'? Nowhere.
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Connor: Now Roc... are you sure that you're obee-kaybee?
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[after being pulled into a hotel suite with nine dead Russian mobsters that the MacManus brothers just killed. To the masked, unrecognizable MacManus brothers]
Rocco: Boy, you guys sure did a good job. Ah shit, you guys are good huh? Cool masks. Where'd you get 'em?
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[to a trio of Russian mobsters threatening them in an Irish bar on St. Patrick's Day]
Rocco: Hey, Boris... what would you do... if I told you... your pinko Commie mother sucked so much dick, her face looks like an egg?
[Checkov hauls off and decks Rocco, laying him out on the bar room floor]
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Detective Duffy: This was their target, the fag-man.
Paul Smecker: The what-man?
[awkward pause]
Detective Duffy: The fat man.
Paul Smecker: Well, well. Freud was right.
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[to a woman in the court room before they kill Yakavetta]
Il Duce: You must watch, dear. It'll all be over soon.
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[after Rocco accidently kills his girlfriend's cat]
Connor: Donna's gonna be angry about her cat.
Rocco: Fuck, she's on every drug known to man. She'd have sold the thing for a dime-bag. Screw her.
[laughs]
Rocco: I do kinda feel like an asshole, though.
Connor: Yeah, Roc, you sound real remorseful there.
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[Rocco has killed Donna's cat]
Donna: You killed my... my...
Rocco: [putting a gun to his head] Your what? I'll shoot myself in the head if you can tell me that fucking cat's name! Your what? Your precious, little...
Donna: Skippy! Skippy!
Rocco: Aw, Jesus! What color was it, bitch?
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Detective Greenly: What if it was one guy with six guns?
Paul Smecker: Why don't you let me do the thinking, huh, genius?
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Detective Greenly: I ain't getting him no fucking bagel.
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Paul Smecker: Why don't you get me a cup of coffee?
Detective Greenly: Who the hell is this...?
Paul Smecker: Cafe latte.
Detective Greenly: What the fuck...?
Paul Smecker: Twist of lemon.
Detective Greenly: Chief, what the fuck is this?
Paul Smecker: Sweet'N Low.
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Murphy: Yeah, it's St. Patty's Day, everyone's Irish tonight. Why don't you just pull up a stool and have a drink with us?
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Rocco: Wyatt-fuckin-Earp!
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Il Duce: When I raise my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who haze me. Oh, Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints.
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Paul Smecker: Looks like we've got ourselves a cowboy.
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Yakavetta: You insignifi-CUNT, little fuck!
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[first lines]
Mackiepenny: Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, now and forever. Amen.
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[last lines]
Man in the street: I'm ready to
[beep]
Man in the street: my
[beep]
Man in the street: on. OK? I'm ready to get busy too. You know, I'm ready to get *busy*.
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Rocco: That was real funny. That was REAL FUCKING FUNNY WASN'T IT? HUH?
Bartender: Not me not me!
Rocco: [shoots the "fat fuck" bartender" emptying his revolver] It was FUNNY! FUNNY FUNNY! FUNNY!
[gun clicks empty]
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[after discovering sickos in the booths at a strip club]
Connor: It's like a scumbag yard sale.
Murphy: We should come down here once a week and clean house.
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Detective Greenly: Tooralooraloora!
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Ivan Checkov: [Checkov has handcuffed Connor to the toilet] You know why I fucking come here? I come here to kill you. But now, I no think I fucking kill you. I kill your brother. Shoot him in the head.
Connor: Fuck you!
Ivan Checkov: Gotta go.
Connor: Murph!
Murphy: Connor!
Murphy: [to the Russians leading him away to be shot] It was just a fucking bar fight! You guys are fucking pussies!
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Murphy: [at the police station] Is there any way that we could stay here?
Officer Chaffey: Uh, yeah, we have an extra holding cell, you guys could... Can they stay?
Paul Smecker: [sheepish grin] Well, we'll have to check with your mom... But it's okay with me if your friends sleep over.
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[about the scene of the two dead Russian mobsters]
Detective Dolly: Nobody reported any gunshots.
Paul Smecker: This is an Irish neighborhood. I'm surprised you even got a phone call.
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Murphy: Hey, look.
Rocco: [his mask is badly put on] What?
Connor: You look like Mush-mouth from Fat Albert
[laughing]
Rocco: What? You guys got masks.
[takes mask off]
Rocco: Fuck it. When this is over the bitch can ID me.
Connor: No, no, put it on. You look good, you look fuckin' scary.
Connor: [laughing] Now Roc, are you sure you're going to be obie-kay-bee?
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Rocco: Wyatt-Fuck'n-Earp
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Il Duce: I shall count the sheep among my favored sheep and shall you the protection of all the angels in heaven
and here is a quote from a message board that sums it all up nicely:
Take it or Leave it., 31 March 2004
Author: ScarlettWeasel (kgreene2@ithaca.edu) from Ithaca, New York
You've either seen it or you haven't; you either love it with a fiery passion, or curse it for ever being thought up. Boondock Saints is one of those films that people just can't seem to be apathetic about.
I happen to be one of the those who love it with a fiery passion. I thought that Willem Dafoe's character was fantastic and created a gay man unlike the stereotypes of "Queer Eye." I also thought Duffy's was well suited to the tone of the movie, and created several fascinating shots that I love as a film student. The credit sequence strikes me as brilliance; the film raises a lots of questions of where the line between good and evil lays and about perceptions of God. The writing made me laugh, the music made me shiver (the opening sequence is The Blood of Cu Chulainn--fantastic if you like that genre), and the characters made me care. On a purely shallow feminine note: just as straight boys have twin fantasies, so do I with a pair of fraternal Irish twins...thank you Troy, thank you.
Of course then there's the opposite side of the coin. Allowing yourself to be immersed in the story takes some huge suspension of belief. Common examples: Conner jumping off a building and not breaking bones--possible, but unlikely, and the boys falling through the air duct after magically taking a coiled rope, untying it and getting tangled in it enough that when caught would hold their weight allowing them to shoot every major boss in the Russian Mob--yeah, I don't buy it either, but it's extremely cinematic! Some people would point to that and say "divine intervention! God loves them!" Yeah well, God loves us all, but you don't see people flying off buildings because of it--well you might, but you get my drift. So my point is that, while I love this movie, I could very easily see where someone else wouldn't.
If you haven't seen it; you should. Give it a chance. Don't listen to anybody else before you do. Hell, if you haven't seen it why are you reading this? Go rent it, burrow if from your friends, whatever; watch it and form your own opinions and then join in some huge fight on the message boards. Good fun can be had by all, whether you loved or hated it.
And finally:
The Family Prayer
And shepherds we shall be, for Thee my Lord, for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth unto Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomime Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sanctis
Il Duce's Prayers
And when I whet my flashing sword
And my hand takes hold in judgement,
I will take vengeance upon mine enemies
And I will repay those who hate me.
(Deut 32:41)
O Lord, raise me to Thy right hand
And count me amoung Thy saints
Whosoever shed last blood,
By man shall his blood be shed,
For immunity of god make he the man.
Destroy all that which is evil
So that which is good may flourish.
And I shall count thee among my favoured sheep
And you shall have the protection of all the angels in heaven.
Never shall innocent blood be shed,
Yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river.
The three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of god.
