I got a phone call from Liam's school today saying that he was sick and needed to be picked up. He has G.E.R.D. and sometimes it acts up and he can't quit puking. Not fun at all and def. not something you should be dealing with in a public restroom. Anyway I grab his medicine and get to the school as quick as I can. I go into the office and since it's a new school the receptionist doesn't recognize me yet.
I say, "I'm here to pick up Liam X". The office is almost vacant just the receptionist that I spoke with about 30 minutes prior to this and a pre-teen girl that was loitering around for some reason.
I get a blank stare in return and then the receptionist replied,"Ohh is that the short little kid with white hair?" Which totally threw me for a loop. I didn't know how to reply at all. I mean, I'm short only 5'1" and Liam is in 6th grade and shorter than me but I'm not sure if that means he's short in general. I mean he's only 11. I didn't think 11 year olds were supposed to be 'tall'. And Liam has light brown hair almost blonde, but it is definitely not white in color. Did she mean 'white' type of hair? As in 'white people'?
At this point I was pretty speechless. As you may have been able to tell by some of the family photos in my blog, my family is composed of people of all different races, religions, colors, s.o., shapes and sizes. Judging people by their color or size or shape or anything of the sort just does not enter into our thoughts or speech or belief system.
So I just said, "I just got a phone call saying he was sick and I needed to pick him up." She replies,"Well now where did he get off to? Did he go back to his class? or the bathroom again? He's been in the bathroom quite a few times..."
Now I'm thinking, How in the world am I supposed to know where he is? I just got here! She finally thinks to call his teacher who then sent him back to the office to go home with me.
I left with a very sick child and even less confidence in his schooling than I had previously. I can't believe that she thought describing my child (any child in fact) as a "short little kid with white hair" was acceptable. I might be over-reacting but I am upset about it.
One thing I am glad of now is that I know how really ignorant some of the people at his school are and I can help him deal with them better now, hopefully.
Edit
I've been thinking about this and talking about it with some members of my family and I wanted to add some more thoughts.
I realize when discussing people that some descriptive words are needed and used. I did it myself when I described the people in the office. In saying the "pre-teen girl" some people would argue that I am being sexist or judgemental about the age of people.
My brother went with me when I went to pick Liam up in the office and I talked to him about his reaction. He said he was pretty shocked by her words also. I think it was the way she used the words, her tone or something more than the words themselves.
There is a big difference between being described as a "petite asian girl" and a "short jap chick". So obviously some words are not as 'nice' as others. But, when I really started thinking about it I realized that this subject is not clearly defined and some of my arguments actually seem hypocritical. Because I do use descriptive words when talking about people. I just tend to use 'nicer' words.
My dad said the receptionist was probably one of the "old school southerners". The type that would have no problem describing 2 children in a room as "a tall nigger, and a short white lookin' boy". I realize that he is probably correct because Mississippi is not known as being a progressive, open-minded, tolerant, equal rights for all, type of state.
For now I'm just trying to decide if the receptionist is a "benign slightly befuddled grandmotherly type" or a "nasty bigoted white old hag". It's a tough decision to make.
