My friend Twitch recently spent Xmas in Little Rock, Arkansas. Here's how it went in his words:
"things to do on xmas night in little rock?
i mean seriously, they dont even sell beer in the stores on xmas?
Jesus made water into wine man.... wine!
not that i want to get absolutly shit hammered but gawd donna, i wanna have a beer after dealing with family for the last 48 hours.
thanks
and merry xmas.
tw
Part 2:
ok.... so i finally found a bar open in little rock!
do these holy rollers in this town NOT understand Jesus made water into wine???
its ok he is down with it... let it go repressed people.
midtown... little rock's version of printers.
oh yeah, im down!
see you there.
ho ho ho~
tw
Well as you can see Twitch has rediscovered the 'Dry' part of the south. The part where they have absolutely inane, insane laws/rules governing the sale of or even prohibiting the sale of Alcohol.
I lived in Arkansas for a bit as a child. (Yeah if you know me you are probably asking yourself HOLY HELL woman is there any place you haven't lived?) Remember this was way back before seat belt reform, drunk driving laws, and all that good stuff. Besides my family was originally from Montana. None of those nifty things really apply to people from Montana anyway. Heh.
Well here is the rest of the story and also happens to be my reply to Twitch:
Haha well at least it isn't a dry county there. When I was a kid we lived in Magnolia Arkansas for a bit and whenever the parental units needed a drink (pretty much every night :D ) we were all loaded up in the station wagon and driven to the nearest wet county that had an open bar or liquor store or dude named Jim Bob that was having a bar-B-Q with free beer.
Anyway that really wasn't the issue, that was all fine and good. I LIKED the station wagon. And going to Jim Bob's was always fun.
But driving home with drunk parental units... Yeah that was HELL. I remember this one night my dad was swerving all over the road causing the tire noise to sound like
"(Way Down Upon the) Swanee River"
Well that's what the Parental Unit's were saying and then they of course had to sing.....
Way down upon de Swanee ribber,
Far, far away,
Dere's wha my heart is turning ebber,
Dere's wha de old folks stay.
All up and down de whole creation
Sadly I roam,
Still longing for de old plantation
And for de old folks at home.
I think that's the only part of the 3 verses of the song they could remember.
Um well anyway what I'm saying is there is something seriously wrong with Arkansas Dude!
Peace!
~me
Yay for childhood memories!
